by Georgie Watts Do you want the short answer? You can't. The long answer is in a book by the author I. E.T. FREQUENTLY wherein she researched and wrote at length about the dangers of mid-life onion ring addiction especially for individuals and their families. The rest of us have to just salivate at Lorde's … Continue reading Onion Rings and How to Overcome Them
by Georgie Watts For the first edition of my printed Malcontent Fishwife zine, I wrote a piece about how I wasn't going to dye my hair because I was nearly done growing out hair dye and letting my greys come through. I wrote about not dyeing my hair to look younger and to stop trying … Continue reading I’m About to Crack and Dye My Hair – Am I the World’s Biggest Hypocrite?
by Georgie Watts Picture the scene if you will, no matter which sex you are because this is important. You have been invited to an NHS outpatients appointment because your lower regions have been playing up and you need to find out whether it's at best something minor or at worst, you have cancer of … Continue reading Time to call an end for painful gynaecological procedures on the NHS
by Georgie Watts She's an elusive bugger at times, turning up unannounced - which you are most grateful for but then effing off again without so much as a warning when you absolutely need her the most. She's getting even more flaky these days, not just when you are expecting your period, (I mean who … Continue reading Have You Met My Friend Sarah Tonin?
by Georgie Watts This is an excerpt from Owl Eyes which is soon to be added to Amazon but you can order it now here. * Without warning, Phanatic launched herself like lightning at the man, her foot making full devastating contact with his knee, making a wince-worthy CRACK!!! which caused him to collapse on … Continue reading Owl Eyes Excerpt
by Georgie Watts Oftentimes as a creative person, we rely quite heavily on the approval, support and financial patronage of family members and those whom we call our friends. When we first announce we are going to be a creative for a living many of those people we know well are enthusiastic right there along … Continue reading Why Don’t my Friends and Family Support my Creative Work?
by Georgie Watts We have a tradition in this country for humour, dark humour, gallows humour – it is the bedrock of what keeps us together in our darkest times...our own particular brand of humour is what gets us through, we can rely on it. However there is also a tradition amongst British people for … Continue reading Why Empty Nest Syndrome Isn’t Funny
The Malcontent Fishwife Issue 1 is OUT NOW - CLICK HERE TO BUY CONTENT-O-RAMA! Une Womage to the 'Disgruntled Housewife' website (RIP)Who the Fuck Am I?Facebook Ranty PantsDeterring Pissy BinmenOne Too Many PeriodsCrying About Everything Being SexistDon't Be a Cunty KimSnippets & Tea From the PastTop Bolloxy Things That Make Women Over 40 Go BallisticWhy … Continue reading The Malcontent Fishwife Issue 1 is OUT NOW
by Georgie Watts In the earliest hours of your 40th birthday something happens. You start again. It isn't the dreaded day you had been, well, dreading. Since the age of 37 you had been thinking of this day. You had been thinking about how all the men you like and don't like will suddenly become … Continue reading On Being a Baby Old Lady
by Georgie Watts I have a bottle of 'Merlot' sitting on the side of the bath waiting for me. No it's not the drinkable kind, it's the wash-in-wash-out in 2-15 washes kind. The kind of stuff you stick on your bonce, leave for 30 minutes and hope it turns you into an irresistible siren. The … Continue reading Your Barnet is Political